Correspondence
by ShadowSnowflake13
Summary: Emma has a simple life living with her brothers in the countryside, but she still struggles to find happiness. What is the story that the letters tell, and what does it all mean?
1. Chapter 1

Dear Diary,

My name is Emma Boelands. I live with my big brother Abel and my little brother Siegfried in the little house by the river. Big Brother trades the fish he catches at the market to support the family, and I work in the home taking care of Siegfried. Life isn't some glamorous fantasy, but we're doing fine. Someday, I dream of traveling the world and living in a big house where I can eat all the sweets that I want. And I'll have waffles everyday and feel happy. But that won't happen probably. I just try to work hard and help my brothers. There's no reason to lose hope though.

Your Friend,

Emma


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Diary,

Antonio and Lovino came to visit today. They're our neighbors who live a few houses away. It's such a treat to see them, since they're usually busy down on the farm. Antonio always tries to tease me and say that I'll end up marrying Lovino one day, but I doubt that will ever happen. I'm nothing special, so why would he want to marry such a silly little girl like me. Besides, I think he likes being with Antonio better than wasting his time looking for a wife anyway.

Your Friend,

Emma


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Lovino,

I don't know what it is that you see in me. Quit wasting your time with someone so stupid. You deserve better, and I'll just fail you. I can't do anything right. I mess up my chores at home, and I make more work for my brothers. I'd be a terrible wife, and I can't do anything else. Just forget about going out with me. It would be better this way.

I can't send this.


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Diary,

All I've felt well enough to do lately is practice my saxophone. I don't know why I bother with it though. Making music doesn't serve a practical purpose, and it doesn't make me feel any better either. But Siegfried likes it, so I haven't given it up completely. I couldn't figure out how to return Lovino's letter, so I didn't send a response. I hope he doesn't hate me.

Emma


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Diary,

Siegfried is worried about me, so I promised him that I would do something to help. He said I should write out how I'm feeling to help take away the hurt. I think this is a stupid idea, but I'll at least try. It's for him. I just don't think I'll have anything nice to write.

Isolated - Why do I even bother to try to exist anymore? It's not like I'm noticed, or important. My brothers overshadow me and push me into the background.

Depressed - We might as well try to have a good time, even though it's pointless. I try to have fun, but sometimes it's just hard to feel happy.

Frustrated - I don't want to be held back by society and my brothers. I want to be able to stand out the world, but it's difficult. I want to rebel and break the rules, but I can't bring myself to.

Lonely - I can't talk to anyone about how I feel. I met this stray cat the other day on my way to the market, and I tried to talk to it. But all he did was glare back at me. I don't know why.

Rebellious - I want to break the rules. I can't really explain it, but I feel that if I could rise above society's expectations that I might feel more empowered. But if someone who felt loved broke the rules, would it change anything about them? So what will it do to me?

Enraged - I just need to let out this stress, and I don't really care who takes my anger anymore. I feel like I'm going to snap and I just don't know how to express that.

Meaningless- What is the purpose of my living anyway? Is the meaning of life just to supposed to be existing? It's all just pointless.

Hopeless- Why would I try to do any of this? We're just going to die. Those who are perfect still die anyway. So someone like me is supposed to suffer, right? Why is there a difference between good and evil? But knowing is pointless, since we're all going to die anyway.

Isn't it obvious? Nothing is working? I just feel terrible. I think I need to find a way out of this life. There's no point in sticking around. I just don't know what to do.

Emma


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Seigfried,

I'm going to be going away for a little while now. Please don't worry about me. Your brother will take good care of you. Be a good boy for me while I'm gone, okay? I love you.

Love,

Emma


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Abel,

I'm sorry for doing this. I don't know what I'm supposed to do to feel happy again. It's too much. I don't know what's going to happen to me now. I worry about you and Siegfried. I trust you'll take care of him. The two of you are both strong. Always remember that I love you. Nothing is going to change that.

Love,

Emma


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Abel,

I have found Emma. Lovino found her out sleeping behind the barn this morning. We have brought her in and are taking care of her. She seems to be in a fine physical condition, but she is still a little despondent. She told me that she misses you terribly and that she should have never run away. I don't know what must have happened to her, but I think she'll be well enough to send you a letter tomorrow. When she is well enough, we'll bring her back to you. Don't worry.

Sincerely,

Antonio


	9. Chapter 9

Dear Diary,

I've been alone for too long. Running away was a mistake. Letting myself be found was a mistake. I just keep screwing up everything! I hate myself! Lovino is trying to make me feel better. I want to feel good about myself, but none of the things he says make any sense. I feel tired all the time. I think I'm catching a cold. But maybe I can still go visit Siegfried. Seeing him again would be nice.

Emma


	10. Chapter 10

Dear Abel,

I think you need to come pay a visit to the farm. Emma's not doing so well. She has contracted something and is very ill. She misses your presence and is worried about how Siegfried is doing without her. Please come as soon as you are able.

Antonio


	11. Chapter 11

Dear Siegfried,

I'm sorry that I'm not going to get to see you again. I really messed up this time. I forgot about what was most important, my family. I ran away because I was selfishly worried about my own insecurities and flaws, and I didn't think of you. Please forgive me. Know that I loved you until the end, and I will still love you where I'm going. Stay strong, and take care of your brother.

Love,

Emma


	12. Chapter 12

Dear Emma,

I'm sorry that I didn't tell you I loved you enough.

And that I yelled at you when you did something wrong.

And that I expected you to be able to do everything perfectly.

And that I expected you to find a woman's place in the world.

And that I didn't get you something special for your birthday.

And now I can't ever see you again to say goodbye. I didn't love you enough. Not nearly enough.

I can't send this.


End file.
